Today is our last day for prep for our first fundraising trip. Statistically, we are in good shape. Four stores booked, accomodations for all, and food for the road. I am excited to get back out there and engage the world at large. Fundrasing is a bit like a worm hole, you get sucked in and all your emotional insides come up to the surface and you say and do things you might not normally do and say because you're being driven by instincts. Then before you know it, the day is over and the blood rush leaves your head and you come back to your senses. This is repeated until the goal is met...not until you have had enough or you are tired or you are angry because you're afraid..until the goal is met.
Its pretty amazing because at first I would feel that overwhelming sensation of energy be all, 'I'm gonna pass out'. But after that experience, I have felt that energy shift and learned to get excited because it means I have the chance to practice being fearless, my favorite thing. The feeling didn't stop feeling as strong or go anywhere, but rather, I accepted its transient nature (which was difficult), and allowed it to be there without struggling.
Anyway, so I'm sure I'll feel like hell, at least until I remember to get outside of myself, and see fundraising as contributing to the flow and having very little to do with me, actually. Then I grow, for you.
I wrote this quote and put it up in my classroom so I will remember..
'When you are down, do something to improve yourself. The world needs your contribution and you can't contribute to relieving the suffering of abused children, or leaderless people, or fearful human beings when you are focussing on the opposite sex, or petty issues of cultural difference, or negativity. Improve yourself by seeing and understanding the world is bigger than your problems.' -me.
always love.
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